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I know what you mean. There have been times since I came into recovery when I spent time with guys who were high even though I would not use.
If the other guy is not high, I can never be sure if he will really want to be with me.
And even though I am respected in my field, write humor professionally (as my second career), and can be outgoing in business situations--I have rarely been able to talk to people at meetings. In part it is because I come from a different world than most of them, but the other part is pathological shyness.
I have just as much trouble talking to people at meetings as I have talking to people in bars or at parties--and people at meetings are not as friendly! The only time anyone has started a conversation was to criticize me. At stressful as social situations are, at least you do not have to worry about that!
Thank god for the internet!
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