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believe that if I have wronged someone, it is my obligation to a) sincerely regret the action, b) apologize, and, where appropriate, make restitution, c) commit myself to changing this behavior in the future, and d) seek forgiveness. This works the other way, too--I would have to try my very best to forgive my family if they had sincerely done all of these things. You don't have to forgive people who don't apologize, much the less change their behavior and attempt to make amends. I don't know about you, but my family has never come close to any of that!
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EXACTLY! i am the first person to appoligize, ask specifically what it is that hurt the person and change my behavior..
if my family BEGGED FOR MY FORGIVENESS, explained to me they SEE THE LIGHT, and want to change.. it would still be VVVEERRRYY hard for me to forgive them for the hurt they have caused me..and begin to trust them again..
the forgiveness part would be on me to do the work..
but they NEVER will so I feel like why should i kill myself doing this work for them... ??