|
Keep it simple dodge!
Remember, he does have the right to decide for himself if he wants rehab or not.
All you have to decide is how to take care of yourself. I have 3 A brothers -- one of them had a serious hospitalization after a drunken fight. While he was in the hospital, the social worker had a chat w/ him abut alcoholism. Boy that made him angry. I had a chat- well no, I guess I just said "I'm really worried about you, I love you and I'd love to see you get yourself into AA or get some kind of help." Oooh boy was he pissed at me! That was pretty much the end of the visit. he continued to drink for going on 24 years....after his second DUI he has been making some progress in AA, but he's also relapsed a few times so..........all that to say:
You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it.
I found it very hard to accept that my brother made the choices he did and I caused myself a lot of pain and used up a lot of valuable energy that would have been better sepnt on myself and my own problems!
You can lovingly share your concern, and offer him whatever alternatives you and your family can offer him and tell him you love him and that you sincrely hope he chooses recovery...and then you have to let it go and try to manage your expectations. he will do what he will do, and it will be a long struggle for him that he has to commit to, no one can do it for him.
When you say defend yourself in everything he tries to do what do you mean? Will he try to come live with you but not choose recovery? Just say what you are willing to do do to help. Like, I will drive you to AA meetings, if you need a ride."
And then just be very clear in your mind about what you are willing to do because you don't want to enable his disease by giving him a crash pad where he continues to drink, or lending him money, etc....
peace-
b
|