[ANGELINA243]

Thanks for sharing. You are not alone. My family can't relate to what I deal with---or even understand my disease...addiction. It is good to not keep all those emotions/feelings hidden deep within yourself......it will drive you crazy. It is good that you are speaking to a professional...I did that myself for awhile. Later I learned how to open up to others--in recovery....people who had been there/could understand/relate to me and my problems. Only in the end did I find out that alcohol/drugs weren't my true problem--it was me. I couldn't deal with living life on life's terms. I can also relate to the whole relapse thing. I think I have 2 weeks today. I have had at least a year of sobriety before, so I do plan to make it back there again...and go even farther this time. I just got to focus on today..tomorrow has enough problems of its own. My advise: Keep rambling--get all this stuff out...either here or with a trusted friend..either a professional like what you mentioned or another member in the program. You don't have to carry this burden alone. We do recover.