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NewChapter · 10-17-2009, 08:47 PM

Hello again and thanks for all the wisdom strength and humor shared here. My husband of 27 years is filing for divorce from me...4 kids, youngest just went to college in August...2 counselors have suggested he suffers from depression (he agrees) and uses alcohol to self-medicate (he agrees), but he will not get help of any kind. He believes that "if I can get away from you, after a period of self-loathing, I will be happy." That's word for word. Tonight I am struggling. He sent his financial data to his atty yesterday and will propose a settlement agreement next week. I can't believe that he is breaking this family apart without trying what professionals and ALL his friends have asked him to do.

ALL our friends have embraced me and the kids and brought us into their families in so many ways...and he has stopped any meaningful contact with the "men of character" who were his friends because they all told him he this is a mistake, he will regret it. He spends his time with the regulars at the bar at the country club and a few other hang-outs; and rumors are he is having an affair with a 30-year-old in our office.

I was doing OK until I got an email from him. He apologized for taking so long to get the numbers together and for the first time I unleashed a paragraph in response suggesting he save his apologies for those he wants to keep in his family (like our kids), as opposed to me, who he is throwing out of his family. Yikes! I know, some pain leaked out. He sent back a berating email and I've lost my peace (or at least my version of it). Can somebody talk me down from this emotional cliff?

10-17-2009, 08:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
NewChapter Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 103	I was doing OK until... Hello again and thanks for all the wisdom strength and humor shared here. My husband of 27 years is filing for divorce from me...4 kids, youngest just went to college in August...2 counselors have suggested he suffers from depression (he agrees) and uses alcohol to self-medicate (he agrees), but he will not get help of any kind. He believes that "if I can get away from you, after a period of self-loathing, I will be happy." That's word for word. Tonight I am struggling. He sent his financial data to his atty yesterday and will propose a settlement agreement next week. I can't believe that he is breaking this family apart without trying what professionals and ALL his friends have asked him to do. ALL our friends have embraced me and the kids and brought us into their families in so many ways...and he has stopped any meaningful contact with the "men of character" who were his friends because they all told him he this is a mistake, he will regret it. He spends his time with the regulars at the bar at the country club and a few other hang-outs; and rumors are he is having an affair with a 30-year-old in our office. I was doing OK until I got an email from him. He apologized for taking so long to get the numbers together and for the first time I unleashed a paragraph in response suggesting he save his apologies for those he wants to keep in his family (like our kids), as opposed to me, who he is throwing out of his family. Yikes! I know, some pain leaked out. He sent back a berating email and I've lost my peace (or at least my version of it). Can somebody talk me down from this emotional cliff?