[kv816]

I won't miss the way my heart would sink every time the phone rang....wondering if it was him on the other end wanting a ride home from the bar. If I say no, he'll be angry and we'll fight. If I said yes then I'd be upset and we'd fight.

I won't miss the questions. When's he coming home? IS he coming home? Who has he been out with? What did they talk about? Did he think about me? Is he seeing all these other girls drinking and when he comes home is he going to fight because I wasn't there drinking with him like the other guys' girls were? Will he have drank so much he'll pass out?

I won't miss him monitoring my finances....how much was my check, how much was each bill I paid, what happened to the rest of what I had left after paying bills. Won't miss the fights when I refuse to give that information out.

The insecurity and "obvious" attack every time I stood behind him watching him cook my favorite dish or something I've never seen or had before. I want to see how it's cooked--not nit pick at what you're doing wrong!

I won't miss my kids sitting at the table for hours on end because there are starving kids in Ethiopia. Some people like breaded, deep-fried chicken gizzards....my kids are not some of those people!

Being second guessed because it's not the way his mother did it.

Him not letting my kids talk to me because they didn't say "ma'am" first. I'm their mother, not their drill instructor.

Only have one or two pieces of chicken with dinner. If I don't want three, I don't want three! Oh wait, there's starving kids in Africa so I have to have three.

I won't miss sneaking through the grocery store. Can I bypass the aisle that has the beer in it too?

I won't miss him. I won't miss the few loving days, the fightless nights. The smiles, the laughs, the problem-solved conversations. I won't miss the sober him.