Quote:
Originally Posted by reverse  Mandjas,
So, being that she refuses to change her life in any constructive way, why should I give her the privilege of seeing her grandkid
Sure she is nice to me on the phone when i talk about my children, but in terms of the long-term...she is not willing to do what it takes to be involved in my life and my children's. So I'm not going to go out of my way to cater to her so that she is included. That's her job. Sure she adores my kids....but not enough to clean up her act...so...tough love...too bad so sad.
Does it suck? Sure it does...but not as bad as enabling her would. |
That's exactly how I feel about her but isn't that detachment with anger rather than love? That's why I can't get my head around ow to do it with love, when it comes down to it I don't really feel that much love at the moment. I have always had a strained realtionship with her until I was pregnant, then she couldn't get enough of me.
Do you know it has just hit me that before she was even an alcoholic she displayed the behaviours of one??? Strange I know but the manipulative behaviour, the moods, the walking on egg shells, the not knowing what you have done wrong to deserve the slient treatment. My mother has alwyas been pre-occupied with men (maried 3 times and many boyfriends), had anorexia, bullimia, addiction to speed and slimming tablets (which I used to get for her in my mispent youth).
Someone on a post here recommended I think about why I react the way I do and I guess it because I don't want my son exposed to what I was exposed to as a young girl. She was married to a man who drank heavily and there would be some terrible arguements in the house, I remember police being called on some occasions. I remember how that made be feel, scared, uncertain, insecure. I NEVER WANT MY SON TO FEEL THOSE FEELINGS! Maybe that's wy I react the way I do? Or maybe I'm over analysing myself! LOL
Goodnght from me, speak to you again soon