Quote:
Originally Posted by wanting  I thin that implies you can help him reach his rock bottom. I think you should kick him out if you can't take living with him anymore, but not if it's an effort to have any effect on his drinking. |
Exactly what wanting said.
focussing on whether you are enabling him or not is still focussing on him, on how your actions could control his drinking and his outcomes.
and they can't.
enabling is often waved at codependents because we give until it hurts with the excuse that others need us. Well we aren't helping them, but we aren't hurting them either. What we are doing then is hurting ourselves for no good reason. Their choices aren't our fault. Plenty of people wake up to the damage they are causing in their life without their loved ones kicking them out, you can't predict what will be the bottom for him, if indeed there is one....
.....so lets look at what you want. Are you happy with him living there? Is this a nurturing environment for you? If nothing changed in the next 5 years, or, as is likely, got worse, would you be happy or are you hanging on in there hoping for some sort of change in his behaviour? what can you do today that would make your life better? even something small?
:ghug2