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Old 10-14-2009, 11:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
Ago
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,173
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I find it helpful to have a bottom line, write it out, do not engage, do not be drawn into a discussion, and to remember the boundary is in place to protect me and not modify their behavior.

No is a complete sentence, I need to realize I don't need to explain myself or why I am doing what I am doing.

Ex: I can't have you around my child if you have been drinking. Period.

No discussion, no deviation, no engagement.

Simple but not always easy, and easier said then done.

By writing it out on paper by the way, I can then "turn it over" and not obsess about it, when the thoughts come crowding in I can say to myself "Oh, I wrote that out, no need to think about it" and move on with my day/night. Repeat that thought as necessary, thousands of times if needed, it's good practice.
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