Ugh, this post reminds me of myself. I am like you - very independent, self-sufficient and don't really accept help from people, I feel guilty if they help me or do something nice for me like I owe them something (how co-d, trying to work on that).
But recently, I have thought about this question too and in addition to just being treated well - a big one for me is reliability and trust. That I know if I need the person they will be there, whether emotionally or physically. That if I am crying or upset over something, they will comfort me as long as I need. Another big one for me is a person who takes initiative for household items, such as noticing X needs to be done and doing it without me saying anything. My final big one is financial responsibility, self-explanatory. Those are my big ones (missing in my life for so long with ABF) Its so upsetting to think that I have been living without those basic things for so long, embarassing really. Ugh, ugh, ugh! Anyway, hope it helped!
