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I wish I was that secure in my self. I'm going on my second year sober and frankly the first one was hard but this second one is even more of a mind cluster. Not so much about the drinking but the thinking and worrying about my comments and stuff. Its like my EGO is totally on the negative. At first I had a hard time excepting I had an ego problem, until I realized EGO was just all about me. Negative or Not I was the negative one. It still creeps in my head that others are superior and I'm just a schmuck. You know that poor me poor me thing. I just wish I wouldn't worry so much about what others think. Sometimes when I go to meetings it seems like everyone has it so together. I know I shouldn't judge their outsides with my insides but frankly its hard for me to stop that. I've trained myself that way for 22 years and I just think I need longer than 18 months to change all that. I'm glad about the sometimes quickly sometimes slowly thing. It just seems that if you don't get stuff right off the bat, out comes the sarcasm, tough love or aloof and insensitive comments. I want them to roll off my back, but they never seem to do that. One of my character defects I presume.
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