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Old 10-13-2009, 04:41 AM   #28 (permalink)
intheknow
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 234
Seeking Peace 2 - thank you. It did help. I love the idea of just letting him fit in where he may.

Sleepless night again. I cannot worry, I cannot worry, I cannot worry...mantra for the day. Worry only causes me to stress, not eat, not sleep and generally be off balance. And I have been hanging on by one finger for so long - I am tired and just need to let it all rest.

When in the middle of this mess, it was always as though I was trying to fill an emotional hole that he left in me. I was just always searching, looking for that thing that was going to fill the hole. Since he has been gone, I don't feel as though I am still searching for that thing. I don't feel as empty, and I don't feel as lonely.

Weird that I am truly navigating this house and family thing by myself, and the emptiness and loneliness is not here? How does this work?
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