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Sebastian2 · 10-12-2009, 08:30 AM

Hello All,

I just came off of a 5 day drinking binge (new record for me). It started last Sunday at our cottage an hour away from our home, I stayed there alone and drank pretty much the whole week. I have a loving partner of 4 years. I told him I had hurt my back and needed to stay there to recover. I finally started to lose it on the 4th day and he rushed up to help me and found me to be quite a disaster, a blithering idiot.

I of course sent out some bizarre emails to people and even sent in an assignment to one of my grad school professors during the course of the week. I spent a lot of time on gay web site chatting with guys and being creepy. Ugh, I hate who I am.

I have not had a drink since Friday but feel horrible physically and mentally. I missed a week of classes and am now far behind in my studies. I cannot sleep at night due to anxiety, shame and remorse.. I don't feel like I will ever come out of this. I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I have been to 2 AA meetings since I have been sober. I will likely have a psychotherapy appointment this week, something I stopped last summer since "I had it all under control." I have been using Xanax lightly to reduce my stress and anxiety.

I feel like I am stuck in some weird funk and cannot get out. My partner has been incredible and supportive. I feel like I could lose this amazing man, what is he doing with ME!?

Will this get better and how long will it take?

Thanks,

Sebastian2

10-12-2009, 08:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sebastian2 Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: IL Posts: 5	A Newbie Shame & Remorse Hello All, I just came off of a 5 day drinking binge (new record for me). It started last Sunday at our cottage an hour away from our home, I stayed there alone and drank pretty much the whole week. I have a loving partner of 4 years. I told him I had hurt my back and needed to stay there to recover. I finally started to lose it on the 4th day and he rushed up to help me and found me to be quite a disaster, a blithering idiot. I of course sent out some bizarre emails to people and even sent in an assignment to one of my grad school professors during the course of the week. I spent a lot of time on gay web site chatting with guys and being creepy. Ugh, I hate who I am. I have not had a drink since Friday but feel horrible physically and mentally. I missed a week of classes and am now far behind in my studies. I cannot sleep at night due to anxiety, shame and remorse.. I don't feel like I will ever come out of this. I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I have been to 2 AA meetings since I have been sober. I will likely have a psychotherapy appointment this week, something I stopped last summer since "I had it all under control." I have been using Xanax lightly to reduce my stress and anxiety. I feel like I am stuck in some weird funk and cannot get out. My partner has been incredible and supportive. I feel like I could lose this amazing man, what is he doing with ME!? Will this get better and how long will it take? Thanks, Sebastian2