| He'll be home soon
AH will be back at the end of the week. He gets out of rehab early, because he did not have to detox there. He'll be flying in friday night sometime.
I am so not ready for this. I need time to decide what I want to do, and the thought of him being back so soon is rattling. I flip flop every day about whether or not I want to continue our marriage. I want the good husband everyday and I know going into it that is un-realistic.
He's not coming home, he is going to stay at a little house we own down the street. My daughter will live upstairs, and he will live downstairs. They won't actually have contact unless they want to. And I am totally staying out of that mess...they have not spoken since before he left.
So my questions are...
What is healthy in this situation? How do I keep my own boundaries and respect his? I still want him to have contact with his kids. His dog is here as well, and I know he will make a big deal about wanting to see the dog.
How do I avoid being sucked right back in? I admit he is saying the things I wanted to hear, writing letters and calling on the phone from rehab. But how do I know it is really different this time, instead of the same crap different day like all the years past?
He did say that he knows our relationship will not be the same (thank god!) and that he will have to earn my trust back. He said he knows I may decide that I don't want this at all. And he says he will just have to accept that if that is the case.
I am so confused. What do I really want...and how do I find the happiness and peace I need right now?
Has anyone else been here?
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