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I just wanted to offer you love and support. Reading through your post sounded very familiar to me except add 10 years to it. We met when I was 28, married at 30, two children. Blind drunk driving me to the hospital for the first labour, the physical violence after the first was born. Things getting better so I felt safe to have another child and then things got worse. I made plans to leave and he quit drinking. He is in recovery now (9 months sober). I'm in Al-Anon. Sometimes I post things are fantastic. Sometimes I just wish I had kept walking. It's hard because something triggers me and I remember 'those nights' where I wished I was dead or he would die. I don't know myself what I want. Good luck with figuring it out.
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