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I guess my main reason for not going to AA or any other face-to-face group is that I'm painfully shy and I have extreme social anxiety. Being around too many people is actually a trigger for me, that actually got me drinking in the first place. I just really don't feel like it would help me. I've tried therapy, but have discontinued, due to no health insurance and I didn't feel like that was helping me either. I went to my therapy session wanting to drink and left with the same urge to drink, I couldn't figure out how the session was helping me, I felt no better, no less urge to drink. In fact, once I felt worse (therapist drudged up some old wounds...) and I went home and drank. ;O( Can anybody tell me if therapy helped them to quit, and if so, how do you know if the therapist is even "good"? I liked her, but nothing that happened in my therapy sessions lessoned my urge to drink. Alcoholism is in my family, I don't even like to remember my childhood. My parents both died very young, my brother was killed in a DUI crash and my sis has done time for DUI. I'm scared right now, this addiction is terrifying me, and I think I finally want to quit more than I want to drink. I do hard liquor, been doing a pint a day. I actually check my eyes in the mirror every morning to see if they're yellow. It's insanity and yet I keep doing it. Thank-you for responding.
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