Welcome to the mental health forum and SR.
From the perspective of a bipolar recovering alcoholic, I can say that while there are days when I feel like my mental health issues were better managed when I drank and did not take medication when I truly break it down and look at my past I can see that this is only an illusion and false hope.
I have been sober almost 9 years now. I was diagnosed bipolar nearly 7 years ago. Medications do help to some degree but I have not been fortunate enough to find the right combination yet. I recently changed doctors and am hoping the new one who believes in combining therapy and medication management will be able to better manage my illness. My bipolar is complicated by PTSD which presents with some symptoms which overlap with the bipolar.
I would recommend checking out our friends and family of alcoholics forum. I don't know if your husband is or is not an alcoholic but it sounds like you could use the support of people who know what it is like to live with someone who is drinking excessively and having it interfere with the managebility of their life. ALANON is also a wonderful group which can help you gain the tools to help you. I would also recommend reading a book called "The Bipolar Handbook." It will help you immensely with understanding bipolar disorder. Here is a link to the thread which gives excerpts from the book as well as the authors name:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lar-facts.html (Interesting Bi-polar facts)