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soconfusednow · 10-06-2009, 08:15 PM

Here is my story in a nutshell.
My mom died a drunk when I was 16. Dad, who is not an alcoholic, remarried a
year and half later to a very strongwilled, independant woman. Step family
chaos ensued and I left home when I was 21 and never looked back.

Dealing with an active spouse allows me to feel what my dad must have felt like with my mom. Hopeless, fearful, frustrated, angry.

I love my dad to pieces, I firmly believe he did the best he could, but we never talk about my mom, at all. Im being serious when I say that in the last 25 years or so, we might have talked about her 10 times...if that. Once my dad remarried, it was like mom never existed.....

I know my dad loves me and forgiven me for my antics with drug abuse, so Im grateful for this. I dont know what Im getting at, but I guess, it seems my dad was more involved with my stepfamily then with my brother and myself. Like, he was more comfortable and so on.

My brother doesnt have a good relationship with my dad, im more forgiving.

Any thoughts on this, if I made any sense?

As I get older, I analyze more, and I feel jipped by mom's death of course, and by my dad's abandonment of me. Im new to this feelings process.

Thanks.

10-06-2009, 08:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
soconfusednow Certifiable Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: New England Town Posts: 29	The surviving parent and their behavior Here is my story in a nutshell. My mom died a drunk when I was 16. Dad, who is not an alcoholic, remarried a year and half later to a very strongwilled, independant woman. Step family chaos ensued and I left home when I was 21 and never looked back. Dealing with an active spouse allows me to feel what my dad must have felt like with my mom. Hopeless, fearful, frustrated, angry. I love my dad to pieces, I firmly believe he did the best he could, but we never talk about my mom, at all. Im being serious when I say that in the last 25 years or so, we might have talked about her 10 times...if that. Once my dad remarried, it was like mom never existed..... I know my dad loves me and forgiven me for my antics with drug abuse, so Im grateful for this. I dont know what Im getting at, but I guess, it seems my dad was more involved with my stepfamily then with my brother and myself. Like, he was more comfortable and so on. My brother doesnt have a good relationship with my dad, im more forgiving. Any thoughts on this, if I made any sense? As I get older, I analyze more, and I feel jipped by mom's death of course, and by my dad's abandonment of me. Im new to this feelings process. Thanks.