So why is it so hard for us?
We work so hard for so many years and here we are again?
I get it, I get being the one who makes all the phone calls
bleh
Truthfully?
I see two things,
one: tonight doesn't make it "over", She'll be back (question is wadda gonna do when she comes back?)
two: it's already been over for a long time, you just aint declared the corpse dead yet
relationships are like sobriety or recovery, the people who want it/them work for it, then there's people who don't really want sobriety/recovery/relationships but say they do, but don't really put any effort into it. They make a lot of noise about it, maybe even go to a few meetings, but don't really put any real time or effort into it. They THINK that's what they want, they could give Shakespeare a run for his money on the drama they create, but their actions talk louder then words.
It's like, <shouting> WHAT??? WHAT??? I can't hear your bullshit excuses over how loud your actions are!!!!
If your relationship was sobriety, what would you say? Like if you really could detach. Toss all those F'ing stories out the window, the ones you tell, the ones she tells, and look at what her actions say. How high are YOU on that priority list? well, she needs a banker....umm...what else, someone to get jealous of....where is the someone to spend quality time with? Someone to have deep conversations with? I musta missed those in your post somehow.
What ARE her priorities? Are you willing to make somebody a priority when all you are to them is an option?
I look pretty butch, but godammit I can write my name in the snow when I pee so I'm out
Hang in there Freya, take a step back and just watch, it will work out for the best, you know it will
By the way, Monster Kudos for the program skills you demonstrated, you did a TON of things right
These are just my off the top of my head observations from a quick read through your story, I might be wrong.