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Ekat · 09-30-2009, 08:05 PM

Well, I already messed up day 2, taking the full 120mg. instead of 115mg. I keep hoping to sleep through a dose, but my body keeps very good time!

I know that this crap has changed my personality. I never laugh any more. I don't know what happened to my absurdist humor.

This taper, if it is to work at all, will take a good year. I feel like I'm throwing away my life right now. I get absolutely nothing done. I cry all the time. I don't want to leave my home.

I would go the suboxone route if I could tolerate being in full withdrawal, but when I ran out of my meds several weeks ago, I would have hurt myself from the weird, unique pain of withdrawal. I was taken to the ER by ambulance, and at the hospital I was screaming for a while until the doctor came down and gave me a shot of morphine. That was after only 12 hours without the drug. How could I ever get through the number of hours to be given suboxone. (Is there a set number of hours?)

It's so hard for me to do anything at this point - even to take a shower. The anxiety is terrible.

I am so angry for having started it. It felt like the magic bullet at the beginning. Speaking of a pact with the devil!

09-30-2009, 08:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ekat Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Cambridge, Mass Posts: 115	Well, I already messed up day 2, taking the full 120mg. instead of 115mg. I keep hoping to sleep through a dose, but my body keeps very good time! I know that this crap has changed my personality. I never laugh any more. I don't know what happened to my absurdist humor. This taper, if it is to work at all, will take a good year. I feel like I'm throwing away my life right now. I get absolutely nothing done. I cry all the time. I don't want to leave my home. I would go the suboxone route if I could tolerate being in full withdrawal, but when I ran out of my meds several weeks ago, I would have hurt myself from the weird, unique pain of withdrawal. I was taken to the ER by ambulance, and at the hospital I was screaming for a while until the doctor came down and gave me a shot of morphine. That was after only 12 hours without the drug. How could I ever get through the number of hours to be given suboxone. (Is there a set number of hours?) It's so hard for me to do anything at this point - even to take a shower. The anxiety is terrible. I am so angry for having started it. It felt like the magic bullet at the beginning. Speaking of a pact with the devil!