[Encalgary]

Hi. I am a male, 38 years old. English is not my first lenguage, so I excuse in advance for any mistake that you found in my posts. I was looking for a forum where I could talk about sex and prostitute addiction, so I am not really sure if I am posting in the right forum. Anyway, I am very anxious right now and my life is just getting worse every day.

I live in Canada, immigrant, without any family, friends or girlfriend. I cant talk about this to my family back home because I feel ashamed, but I am thinking seriously about getting therapy. I have spent thousands of dollars paying for prostitutes and pornography, and I am in problems with debt.

I really want to get out of this and to have a family and a normal life, but I havent been lucky dating girls. I am not that ugly, and am in good shape, but I am very shy, and feel very uncomfortable around people. Only once (at 25) I have been seriously involved with a girl, but as a result of that relationship my heart was broken and my trust in women was seriously affected.

Also, although I try to live a normal life, sometimes I feel like I am losing the control and even my mental health is being seriously affected. I know for sure that I have anxiety almost every day, have social phobia, and probably OCD, (hair pulling, compulsive masturbation).

I only have seen two therapists in my life for a short period of time and that was when I broke with that girl, but probably I had to look for help before because I have coped with anxiety all my life due to family issues. I dont have other addictions (alcoholism, drugs) but I feel right now like I am gonna be really hurt if I dont stop these behaviours. Any advise?