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argo · 09-29-2009, 12:39 AM

Well not sure this is really the place for me to be but I don't know what else to do. Hopefully someone out there can relate.

I've lived with chronic back pain for at least 5-10 years now. For the longest time I managed with advil, but ended up taking 1600mg at a time sometimes a couple times a day which I know was destroying my body and not helping with the pain so I finally broke down and went to see the doc. This was about 7 months ago and they still don't know what's wrong. I've taking multiple x-rays MRI, and CT scans. Tried physical therapy briefly and I'm currently on Oxycodone. This is after multiple things (non-narcotic) then Vicoden then percocet. Since they don't know what's wrong my doctor sent me to a pain clinic. And this is where my problem lies.

I also have a medical marijuana card and the pain clinic won't see me unless I quite smoking. I was smoking when my doctor first prescribed me the opiates and they help. The pain is bad enough without them that I don't think I'd be able to hold onto my job if I completely quit, at least not without something else to take their place. However they have severe side effects that the marijuana greatly reduced. Now that I've quit smoking I really want some other alternative to the pain pills. The side effects were manageable before but now are almost as bad as the pain. Complete loss of appetite not being able to sleep and loved ones have brought to my attention that I just don't seem happy and pissed at the world. Then the pain clinic has me on a leash like I'm a child and expects me to come in whenever they want with 24 hours notice for pill counts and urine tests. This is probably the worst as I don't feel in control of my own life. I'm completely dependent on the clinic that can cut me off at any time for any reason. With the dependency and withdrawals associated with opiates it makes me extremely uncomfortable putting my life in someone elses hands, especially someone who couldn't care less about me. So I want off the opiates.

A couple weeks ago I quit cold turkey and that lasted about 2 days. The w/d's were bad but manageable. But by then my back was hurting so bad I could barely bend over. I'm now taking about 1/3 to 1/2 of what I'm prescribed each day which doesn't completely ease the pain but I can live with it. The pain that is, the side effects and dealing with the pain clinic I'm not so sure of. However there are still times, twice in the last 2 weeks that even on the lower dose the pain is almost unbearable.

So I'm lost and have no idea what to do. It's stressing me out immensely. I want off these stupid pills so bad, and if it wasn't for the pain I know I could quit easily. It just seems my options are live with the pain and probably end up on disability and therefore be miserable or keep taking the pills and have less pain but still be miserable from all the side effects.

09-29-2009, 12:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
argo Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5	Need some advice Well not sure this is really the place for me to be but I don't know what else to do. Hopefully someone out there can relate. I've lived with chronic back pain for at least 5-10 years now. For the longest time I managed with advil, but ended up taking 1600mg at a time sometimes a couple times a day which I know was destroying my body and not helping with the pain so I finally broke down and went to see the doc. This was about 7 months ago and they still don't know what's wrong. I've taking multiple x-rays MRI, and CT scans. Tried physical therapy briefly and I'm currently on Oxycodone. This is after multiple things (non-narcotic) then Vicoden then percocet. Since they don't know what's wrong my doctor sent me to a pain clinic. And this is where my problem lies. I also have a medical marijuana card and the pain clinic won't see me unless I quite smoking. I was smoking when my doctor first prescribed me the opiates and they help. The pain is bad enough without them that I don't think I'd be able to hold onto my job if I completely quit, at least not without something else to take their place. However they have severe side effects that the marijuana greatly reduced. Now that I've quit smoking I really want some other alternative to the pain pills. The side effects were manageable before but now are almost as bad as the pain. Complete loss of appetite not being able to sleep and loved ones have brought to my attention that I just don't seem happy and pissed at the world. Then the pain clinic has me on a leash like I'm a child and expects me to come in whenever they want with 24 hours notice for pill counts and urine tests. This is probably the worst as I don't feel in control of my own life. I'm completely dependent on the clinic that can cut me off at any time for any reason. With the dependency and withdrawals associated with opiates it makes me extremely uncomfortable putting my life in someone elses hands, especially someone who couldn't care less about me. So I want off the opiates. A couple weeks ago I quit cold turkey and that lasted about 2 days. The w/d's were bad but manageable. But by then my back was hurting so bad I could barely bend over. I'm now taking about 1/3 to 1/2 of what I'm prescribed each day which doesn't completely ease the pain but I can live with it. The pain that is, the side effects and dealing with the pain clinic I'm not so sure of. However there are still times, twice in the last 2 weeks that even on the lower dose the pain is almost unbearable. So I'm lost and have no idea what to do. It's stressing me out immensely. I want off these stupid pills so bad, and if it wasn't for the pain I know I could quit easily. It just seems my options are live with the pain and probably end up on disability and therefore be miserable or keep taking the pills and have less pain but still be miserable from all the side effects.