Heya Mary Jo
Quote:
Originally Posted by greysparkey  ... I tend to battle with Catholic guilt on top of everything else, so ....... |
Oh I totally understand. I'm a recovering Catholic. Carmelites, Jesuits, Irish family, the whole 9 yards and _all_ the stations of the cross before breakfast
Quote:
Originally Posted by greysparkey ... I feel guilty for now craving the medication as if I did something wrong.... |
_cravings_ are not wrong. They are a chemical reaction to a medication. That's no different that cravings for sugar, which is also a chemical, or ice cream.
What _is_ wrong is the _actions_ we take in order to satisfy those cravings. If I go and _lie_ to my doctor in order to get more pills then the _lying_ is wrong.
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Originally Posted by greysparkey ... Mike, if you still have to take the meds, doesn't that cloud your sense of sobriety? ... |
nope. The official position from AA is found here
http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/p-11_aamembers.pdf
The short version is that as long as I take meds as prescribed, under a doctors supervision, and for a valid medical reason, then I am not giving in to my disease of addiction. The burden of honesty is on _me_. It's not on the chemical I take.
My _behavior_ is the issue. I could be a liar, a cheat, a thief without ever taking a drink. Drinking just dulls my conscience and would make it easier to become that kind of person. The same goes for any other chemical.
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Originally Posted by greysparkey ... You said on the days you don't need pain meds you think about them. How can you keep your sanity? ... |
My alcoholic brain can only obsess on _one_ thing at a time. So when my head is thinking of meds, I start saying prayers. I pray for everybody I know who is having challenges in their lives, and I know plenty such people from my meets and here on SR. I have printed out several prayers in Latin ( being Catholic... you know how that goes ) and I'm working on memorizing them in Latin. That _really_ focuses my mind away from pills.
I get on the phone and call people and ask them how _they_ are doing. That can keep me busy for _hours_, and focused on _their_ needs instead of my obsessions. I have a close friend who's in the last stages of cancer, so I call her up and see if I can take her some dinner or give her a ride to a meet. I come here on SR and see if there's anybody who needs a little listening.
Same stuff I used to do when I was brand new in recovery.
Whadya think?
Mike