[Ago]

One thing I have watched over the years is my evolution of "quality of sponsorship" or "type of sponsorship"

In my early years I sponsored a ton of newcomers, I picked up my first sponsee at 30 days, and by the time I had a year I had a fleet of sponsees, many of whom are still sober today.

It seems frequently the concepts I discuss are over many newcomers heads, they have many years of suffering to endure in sobriety before what I say makes sense. Not all, but the majority, I am frequently not the best person to sponsor a new and wet newcomer. It's just not where my strength is.

However, now one of the things I am actually really pleased with, is my ability to listen to a newcomer and introduce them someone who I think carries the message they would be able to hear. Introducing newcomers to a good sponsor "fit", and I have learned over the years that some newcomers are a good "match" for me to sponsor, but quite frankly, much more frequently I know someone who's life experience and language matches the newcomer more closely then mine, a man or woman who's approach will be more effective them mine.

We have many differing types of people here, and I have gotten to know many of you pretty well, and to know that many of us carry the message, but we do so in different ways.

I would be happy and comfortable when listening to a newcomer, and matching them to who I feel would be a more effective sponsor then me, Rob B, NavySteve, TommyK, Jimhere, Cubile, Tazman, etc etc the list goes on and on

I have a few dozen old sponsees with double digit sobriety, two I think have under ten years, one at 9 years, one at 7, but I noticed a few years ago all the sponsees I started picking up had anywhere from a few years of sobriety to 17 years, or had relapsed after a long period of sobriety. I also noticed that sponsees I have worked with the last few years have some pretty serious "family of origin" issues and codependency issues they were replaying in relationships.

These are the people I am effectively able to help as these are the things I have navigated either successfully or unsuccessfully in sobriety, thus have experience with.

About 10 years ago I started picking up sponsees that wanted what is called Stage II Recovery, a term coined by Earnie Larson, who's premise is:

Sustained abstinence from an addiction is only the first stage of recovery; real recovery begins with Stage II--the rebuilding of the life that was saved in Stage I.

Or in other words, how to be "Happy, joyous and free", I was getting large numbers of sponsees that had spent a number of years as one of the "doin it right" guys, and they were miserable, and had watched me recover from that seemingly hopeless condition of mind, mouth and ego.

I don't like the "recovery" word either but it's the only description I have found, and when you use the term, "Stage II Recovery" people know what I am talking about, I would preferably not have that be the topic, I am only using that as an example.

So, The question is, Did your sponsorship style and sponsees evolve over the years, and do you match newcomers to people you think would be a more effective sponsor for them?