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serenitea · 09-27-2009, 11:02 PM

I am 7 days sober today - and just had an experience I did not expect!
So tonight I go to do some home work for a night class I am taking which involves a good deal of drawing.

So first I think - wow this would go a lot quicker if I had a little wine in me to loosen me up! But I get past that and then start drawing.... and it is going really well and I am getting so excited because things are coming together and I start to get sort of hyped up and drawing and then I am done, and I am still totally hyped up.

I start to freak out because normally I would have some wine to relax me to come down after a high like that. But - that is not on the table so I literally feel like I am going to puke because I am so wound up from drawing. How can that be? Shouldn't drawing be relaxing - well funny that huh? I am thinking about it and I used alcohol for that all the time - whenever I was too ramped up and could not come down.

Sort of a manic self medicating thing? Has this happened to anyone else?

So - I instead I made myself a cup of tea and decided to post to SR. Gosh - and I thought getting thru saturday night was bad! This was actually more difficult because I was totally not prepared for it!

09-27-2009, 11:02 PM	#76 (permalink)
serenitea Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 27	I am 7 days sober today - and just had an experience I did not expect! So tonight I go to do some home work for a night class I am taking which involves a good deal of drawing. So first I think - wow this would go a lot quicker if I had a little wine in me to loosen me up! But I get past that and then start drawing.... and it is going really well and I am getting so excited because things are coming together and I start to get sort of hyped up and drawing and then I am done, and I am still totally hyped up. I start to freak out because normally I would have some wine to relax me to come down after a high like that. But - that is not on the table so I literally feel like I am going to puke because I am so wound up from drawing. How can that be? Shouldn't drawing be relaxing - well funny that huh? I am thinking about it and I used alcohol for that all the time - whenever I was too ramped up and could not come down. Sort of a manic self medicating thing? Has this happened to anyone else? So - I instead I made myself a cup of tea and decided to post to SR. Gosh - and I thought getting thru saturday night was bad! This was actually more difficult because I was totally not prepared for it!