Have you gone to al-anon?
It helps me in situations w/ my A and with others too
. I cannot tell you how helpful it has been for me
"The Language of Letting Go" is a good one too (by MB)!
I would suggest setting some boundaries and sticking to them. Boundaries are needed to keep relationships healthy.
The things you have listed seem to be things that are happening to others. They will have to decide for themselves if they are unacceptable or not. And what action if any to take if any.