covington

Hey Everybody,

Could you please share with me any resources or wisdom you know of that deal explicitly with stopping emotional manipulation -- not in the alcoholic -- but in yourself?

I noticed the last time I was home how my mother would make snide comments, and say hurtful things to make you feel stupid if you didn't do what she wanted when she wanted. It could be something like giving my nephew an object she didn't want him to have and how inappropriate it was that he not get up and get it himself, or it could be making my sister stop the car so many times during the safari trip to take one hundred and eighty close up pictures of zebras and elephants that my niece peed her pants. She knew the little girl had to go to the bathroom, but she had this insane idea that getting the pictures she wanted to make a photo book for the girl was more important thant the two year old girl's comfort and well being. And the strange thing is that people do what she wants, it's like they can't say no to her, even when she's unreasonable.

Suffice it to say, I have noticed that I seem to think I know better than the alcoholic in my life what he needs.

Did I mention my mother forced my father to quit drinking when I was seven or so? She has steamrolled over him, expressing all his opinions for him for as long as I can remember.

Did I mention my sister's husband couldn't be with us during our family reunion weekend on safari because he was on a coke binge? And she's tried to get him to quit drinking for the past five years?

In addition to going no contact, what would you suggest I read? I have read Melody Beatty. I have been in individual counseling since June, also. Thanks in advance for reading this far.