[cjsg]

First of all I am really sorry the way things turned out for you. Finding someone you love, gay, straight, brown, blue, yellow etc etc is daunting. I´m sure theres not much anyone can say that might assuage some of the crap you´re feeling, or the mess you will undoubtedly feel in the days to come. I read some of your other posts, and really it seems as though you bent over backwards to help this gentleman and put up with more heartache and problems than is reasonable to expect from someone. Surely you made some mistakes as we all do, but I think you were more than loyal and supportive and were more than willing to continue to do so if he would have just done his part. You , more than likely, did more for him than any other person in his life would have done. You should not have any regrets. You know, I think it is admirable that you put your foot down, you can love someone with all your heart, but when it is more than obvious that they are reciprocating less and less, you can´t continue to allow someone to take advantage of your nature. It´s sad when, as you said, you come to realise that quite literally he prefers the drugs as opposed to having someone meaningful in his life.. and I, frankly am glad you chose to NOT to have him in your life as opposed to having someone who will appreciate you in yours. I know you feel as if consolation is a far off concept but please don´t feel as if it was you who failed. You affections and effort are better plaed upon someone who will love you and appreciate you for who and what you are..
Chris