SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Well....after close to four years, it's over

Prizewinner · 09-23-2009, 05:50 PM

It's with mixed emotions that I finally ended the relationship with my partner after close to four years. Being a classic codependent, I mustered up enough willpower and strength to bring it all the heartache and disappointments to an end after he crossed the one last huge boundary I had set for myself. Via spyware on my computer, I caught him soliciting himself in gay chat rooms in exchange for painpills. He had done this before in Jan. of '07 and I kicked him out which made him hit bottom. (This was at the same time I first learned of this website and the supportative, loving people who commune here.) I only let him back into my life with the condition that he get help, which he did.
He was put on Suboxone for two years and detoxed this past July in a rehab facility (at which time I turned to this website again) but he left after only two weeks. College started back and things were going well but then the lies and deceit started again as he made the local hospital emergency room tours complaining of tooth pain to get opiates. Relapse after relapse went on for a couple of weeks, but when he started going online with the seedy and sultry lifestyle of tricking himself for drugs, I had had enough.
His name is now off of the lease and he has until midnight tomorrow night to have everything that's his removed from the apartment. We said our farewells this afternoon which brings me here again tonight. What a sad thing it is to know that someone you love very deeply actually loves drugs more than you. He had a bazillion chances from me and all he had to do was the right things. I really don't wish that bad things happen to him and I told him that. But I also let him know that I deserve alot more than all of the lies, cheating and deception that keeps addicts lives so messed up.
Thank you again for all of your support. I've decided that being alone is better than being disrespected. Tonight is probably going to be the loneliest one for me yet, but each minute that passes is driving me toward full recovery from being a codependent.

09-23-2009, 05:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
Prizewinner Midwest Griever Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Midwest, USA Posts: 13	Well....after close to four years, it's over It's with mixed emotions that I finally ended the relationship with my partner after close to four years. Being a classic codependent, I mustered up enough willpower and strength to bring it all the heartache and disappointments to an end after he crossed the one last huge boundary I had set for myself. Via spyware on my computer, I caught him soliciting himself in gay chat rooms in exchange for painpills. He had done this before in Jan. of '07 and I kicked him out which made him hit bottom. (This was at the same time I first learned of this website and the supportative, loving people who commune here.) I only let him back into my life with the condition that he get help, which he did. He was put on Suboxone for two years and detoxed this past July in a rehab facility (at which time I turned to this website again) but he left after only two weeks. College started back and things were going well but then the lies and deceit started again as he made the local hospital emergency room tours complaining of tooth pain to get opiates. Relapse after relapse went on for a couple of weeks, but when he started going online with the seedy and sultry lifestyle of tricking himself for drugs, I had had enough. His name is now off of the lease and he has until midnight tomorrow night to have everything that's his removed from the apartment. We said our farewells this afternoon which brings me here again tonight. What a sad thing it is to know that someone you love very deeply actually loves drugs more than you. He had a bazillion chances from me and all he had to do was the right things. I really don't wish that bad things happen to him and I told him that. But I also let him know that I deserve alot more than all of the lies, cheating and deception that keeps addicts lives so messed up. Thank you again for all of your support. I've decided that being alone is better than being disrespected. Tonight is probably going to be the loneliest one for me yet, but each minute that passes is driving me toward full recovery from being a codependent.