SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Can those with addiction ever have a healthy relationship?

Inquisitive7 · 09-21-2009, 08:53 PM

Thanks for your perspective, Cynay. You fiance sounds a lot like my ex...except that my ex was sort of still in denial about his problem and not in recovery....big difference. I think the fact you both have addiction issues helps understanding one another too as well as equalizes the risk each of you take. For the most part, I am a normie, so it came down to cost/benefit with me. My ex had a lot of stuff that came with him - kids, arguing ex-wife, money issues to name a few, on top of addiction issues. It just became too much for me to deal with...giving, giving, giving....and not ever feeling secure around his addiction issues because he was still partly in denial and it was always a taboo subject between us. This was always the largest issue in the relationship for me. He was ready to put a ring on my finger, but I just couldn't take a gamble with my life.

At least in your situation, you both aren't in denial and are working the program. You seem centered, realistic, and happy. Best wishes to the both of you.

09-21-2009, 08:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
Inquisitive7 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Wherever I turn my attention Posts: 57	Thanks for your perspective, Cynay. You fiance sounds a lot like my ex...except that my ex was sort of still in denial about his problem and not in recovery....big difference. I think the fact you both have addiction issues helps understanding one another too as well as equalizes the risk each of you take. For the most part, I am a normie, so it came down to cost/benefit with me. My ex had a lot of stuff that came with him - kids, arguing ex-wife, money issues to name a few, on top of addiction issues. It just became too much for me to deal with...giving, giving, giving....and not ever feeling secure around his addiction issues because he was still partly in denial and it was always a taboo subject between us. This was always the largest issue in the relationship for me. He was ready to put a ring on my finger, but I just couldn't take a gamble with my life. At least in your situation, you both aren't in denial and are working the program. You seem centered, realistic, and happy. Best wishes to the both of you.