Thank goodness Google is easy to use even when you have maybe one working brain cell. That's how I found SR.
It had been only 24 hours away from what I call the scariest drunk I have ever had. I should have been dead, and in a way I was. My husband came to talk to me and instead of arguing like I always did, I could barely say anything, except to tell him that he could have the house, the kids and everything else because I was done. My husband even said the next day that I scared the daylights out of him by how still I was, and not in a "she's not moving" kind of way, but almost like I had come to terms with something...and whatever it was, it wasn't good.
I still can't explain it, but he sat there and talked to me, told me we could get through this and that he would do whatever it took if I would do whatever it took. I have seen in written on here about finding that one ember, to fan, and I think he did. Long enough to get me through the night.
He took off work the next day and after getting the kids off to school, he came in and asked me how I was feeling, and asked me if I thought I could make a noon meeting of AA that he had found through a search of the AA online site. I felt like roadkill, and I could barely speak, so he told me to think about it and let me be. At around 10AM, he came in to tell me he was running to the store and suggested I get up, shower and brush my teeth. gently, but still a bit firm. For some reason, I did it.
He drove to that noon meeting because I was a hot mess, and so scared to return to the rooms after failing like I did. My husband said, "If ANYONE is going to understand, it will be the folks in that room". He was right. AA doesn't shoot it's wounded.
He had to return to work the next day and it was the first time that I had been left alone since that crazy night, and I happen to work Communications as a job, so it was very natural for me to Internet search for information and support. That's how I found SR.
I am 11 days out, and haven't had a drink. Going to meetings daily and working on physically recovering. Started blogging yesterday, and it helps me to let the crazy out a bit at a time
In closing, if anyone is wondering if it's any better out there...it isn't. My spiral down this time was FAST.
Thanks for being here.