[Inquisitive7]

I have been reading a lot in various sections of the forum. And one thing I've read over and over is that those with addiction only change when they are ready -- AND, there is always the risk that they will relapse. There is always the behavior that over and over damages relationships.

As far as potential healthy partners of these people, it asks a lot (and I do understand the co-dependent aspect of this, but some do get healthy and want to have a relationship with someone who has addiction issues). To put up with the myriad of risks and behaviors of those with addiction. To always have the risk of relapse looming just as you are enjoying the relationship. I guess it would take a tolerant person, someone partially detached and putting up many boundaries, to stay with someone who had addiction issues.

This leads me to think that is it almost impossible for those with addiction to actually attract and stay with healthy partners. So, does this mean they're all just doomed to be by themselves or have superficial relationships? I sometimes wonder what is the percentage of relationships that actually survived and moved to a place long-term where they are healthy and addiction is no longer ruling the relationship.

It makes me sad because I feel addiction changes so many otherwise very intelligent, cool, and caring people (like my ex-BF was). That it destroys, not only their potential love relationship, but other relationships in life. Are they just doomed to have an albatross around their neck for life? There must be hope out there...I refuse to believe there isn't. I am sort of ignorant around various aspects of addiction and maybe there are a large group that permanently move to healthier ways of relating to the world. Maybe someone can shed some light on this all for me.