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i went through excactly what you are going through, every time i got sober a couple of months. at first i was happy to be sober and i felt better "concequences had stopped" the shakes had stopped, my girlfriend and family came back, got a good job, bought a nice car, had money in the bank. so i should of been on my way to a great life, then this voice in my head started to talk to me "your depressed, maybe you are suffering with bi-polar, maybe its manic depression, maybe its o,c,d. what you need to do is go to the doctors and get pills". over the last 12 years this kept happening and eventually i would always drink because that seemed to cure it. i know today that i suffer with alcoholism, (the drink is not the problem i am) when i put the drink down i am left with the illness, this illness will attach its self to depression and tell me thats whats wrong with me, it never says to me " tricky you are suffering with untreated alcoholism" you need to get a sponcer, work the 12 steps, do lots of meetings and service, then help others. it wants me drinking so it lies to me. after 12 years of being in and out of AA i did all the things suggested and i have not had that voice in my head anymore, today i treat my alcoholism (me). people used to tell me in AA " keep coming back it gets better" i kept coming and it would only ever (after the initial period) get worse. thank god for good sponcership as i got a sponcer who for the first time told me the truth, "it will never get better until you treat this illness". i dont know if your like me and suffer from alcoholism, but if you do identify with this i suggest you strongly look into working a vigorous program of action. not thinking !!. peace and fellowship to you. god bless
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