Quote:
Originally Posted by hps  my wife needed to work through her anger and decide whether to forgive me, while I needed to continue working on my recovery and also get my confidence back through a job.
I feel my life is falling apart (lost the job, and may be on track to lose wife, kids, house).
There's a lot I can't do about the situation, and I think even if I do the right thing (whatever that is), the dreaded prospect of losing everything is still a possibility.
I don't know what to do on the marriage front |
I hope you don't mind me chopping up your post into quotes, nothing personal, I just have an easier time digesting things in small chunks
Wow, where do I start, you shared so much of the same thoughts that were racing, errr make that tearing, my mind apart in early recovery. You mentioned you had a year of sobriety, but didn't mention if you were active in a recovery program (?) so I'm curious about that.
I did lose my wife and marriage in early sobriety, walked away from my job for a few weeks in a fruitless attempt to "find myself and get answers", got kicked out of the home we shared, lost the right to see my kids 24/7, scratched the dogs behind the ears one last time, etc., you get the picture. One thought I carry around with me is that I didn't
lose anything, I
gave those things away every time I made the decision to pick up a drink, and looking back I have a pretty clear idea of why she wasn't happy about me not sobering up sooner, and why she was in such a hurry to move on with the next phase of her life.
I'm active in AA and CoDA, I've taken the Steps and practice them, and of the many things it's taught me.....I'm powerless over alcohol.....I'm powerless over the wreckage I created in my marriage.....but there is a solution. For me it lies in my programs of recovery and the 12 Steps, but there are many other resources available for anyone who has the desire to recover and go on to live an incredibly rich and rewarding life.
Job or no job, wife or no wife, home or no home, you may have to "lose" or "give away" just about everything. Remember the paradoxes...we die to live, we give away to keep. I can't help but think of God's will for me now. I feel like my purpose is to be a loving, caring, and supportive father, fiance, and friend. God will show me everything else.
I can't tell you what's best for your marriage, but I would suggest you focus on your recovery and allow your wife to focus on hers. I know it's not easy, but cease fighting everything, and your life and world will slowly open up to limitless possibilities.