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hps... you are writing my story. Gosh I wonder how many of us are in the same boat? First of all..thanks for posting this issue in your life. My RAH is my qualifier. He has been unemployed since December 2008. He's been sober for 8 or 9 months now.
1. you are not what she expected sober, maybe you are just a nasty person... I can't tell you how many times I've thought that about my RAH. He is moody, agitated, angry, and can flip on me at the drop of a hat.
2. At least you used to be a provider and now you have failed at that... well I can't tell you how many times my RAH has said this to me. His job was phased out and since then he has not found anything. He applies for jobs but so many others apply for the same job. He is currently taking care of our year old son during the day saving us daycare costs. He's going crazy... I have been angry at him too for all the junk that he's put us through. DUI's, money gone, irresponsible behavior, etc. etc. We had to have the serious conversation of me coming to a place of forgiveness and letting it go because me holding it over his head was causing more damage to our marriage and our family. We are working towards filing bankruptcy and foreclosure on the condo. Essentially, yes this would be a good time for me to start over and don't think I haven't thought on it. Give your wife some time to sort this out... lift her up in prayer that her HP will help her come to a place of forgiveness. A lifetime of grudges and anger will not bring her peace whether she is separated from you or not. She needs peace just like you do.
Don't beat yourself up hps you are still going through recovery of this disease and work will eventually present itself at the right time, keep looking and keep sending out applications and resumes something will eventually pop up. Keep working your program. I tell my husband this everyday.. I tell him to try and find the joy in where he is now because if his attitude could change just a bit he'd be the best stay at home daddy there was for right now... not forever but just for a season. Best wishes to you all.
AJ
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