(((Recovering))) I don't know the pain you must be in and I won't pretend to know. My heart does ache for you because I can't imagine what I would do without my children. One thing I hope is that I would survive and stay sober. This disease is awful, I lost my mom to it 40 years ago when I was 15 years old, so that pain I can sympathize with.
I'm so glad you are here and I believe God had his hands in your finding SR again.
Feel free to PM me. I think you might need a certain amount of posts before you can send a Private Message, so keep posting away.