[recovering1]

Hi all. I just found this site in my bookmarks. I lost my son to alcohol, he took his life while in a blackout. He was also bi-polar. He was 23 yrs old. At the time he died I was to have 4yrs that November of last year. My son passed in March of 08. I did drink 2 months after he died. I am not proud of that, I believed I'd stay sober, ODAAT, and they added up quickly. Anyways, after he died, I found myself having what I call sober blackouts. I'd come to in various rooms of the house, one time standing over the stove w/all 4 burners going and nothing cooking. I lost all my passwords to most of my old recovery sites and to this day I cannot recall my yahoo original account. Tonight, alone, I looked at my bookmarks and here is this site. My son's death brought home the full magnitude of how this disease does kill, it killed my baby. I am not the same person, nor shall I ever be. I went on another site last night, and got blasted by another chatter on a public msg board, for posting anonymously. I didn't post to harm anyone, I posted to say thank you. For that I got a horrible type lashing (hmm kinda like a tongue lashing i spose, lol) simply because I choose to keep my anonymity (sp) so, here I am. I look forward to hearing from others and reading a lot of postings. Glad I found ya's..thank you for allowing me in. GBU