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squiggle · 09-12-2009, 12:28 AM

Hi thanks , for advice clay the scribe and eoghanacht.

I already see a therapist for an hour a week , i have been seeing her for about three years.
With being clean and in therapy i really thought i would be finding life easier , but as i said it the same old problems and feeling s as when i was using heroin.
It just doesn't add up.

I was seen by psychiatrist whilst i was still using heroin so in my eyes his diagnosis is not relevant for me know.

I have a family history on my mothers side of mental illness, schizophrenia, and many female members have had mental break downs/ anxiety /depression.
So the genetic disposition is there.

I first started having problems after my parents split up and i started high school , i became very withdraw, anxious and had sleep problems, i then started experimenting with drugs. so i was around early teens, from then on its been the samr with a few extreme times brought on by drug use and extreme stress.

I have noticed a definite connection between, feeeling extremly stressed and how i feel my mood and behaviour is affected.

I am 25 years old now so i have been struggling like this for a long time with periods of drug free time along the way.
This is the most time i have drug free , 8mths coming up 9 months soon!

I think i need to get referred to a new pychiatrist , by a doctor.Although we have free NHS medical here , i am currently seeing a private doctor as he has helped me kick heroin, and i feel i know him well.Although he disagrees with thinking i have mental health problems!But he doesn't see what i am like the rest of the time!And also i am not great at fully explaining things.

I do definately get very depressed for periods at a time, but i am just battling on with it because eventually it lifts,

One of the reasons i hav not been taking meds , is i am breastfeeding and i didn't want to risk any rubbish passing from me to baby regardless of what health guidelines are.

Bit paranoid but i don'y think it was worth it.
As my son i nearly 7 mths and on solids , i would consider giving meds a try again as long as i got a diagnosis too.

I have been on anti depreesents over the years and for the most part they helped, things were more managable generally whilst i was on them. Citalapram is mostly what i was put on.And beta blockers too. for my anxiety and depression. Sometimes that didn't help though.

I might add i have a history of self harm and a few suicide attempts , from a few years ago. Eating and my body image is an ongoing battle, at the moment a crutch and to be honest a constant battle,cause i know how stupid it is really.

anyway long post...

09-12-2009, 12:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
squiggle Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: edinburgh scotland Posts: 27 Blog Entries: 1	Hi thanks , for advice clay the scribe and eoghanacht. I already see a therapist for an hour a week , i have been seeing her for about three years. With being clean and in therapy i really thought i would be finding life easier , but as i said it the same old problems and feeling s as when i was using heroin. It just doesn't add up. I was seen by psychiatrist whilst i was still using heroin so in my eyes his diagnosis is not relevant for me know. I have a family history on my mothers side of mental illness, schizophrenia, and many female members have had mental break downs/ anxiety /depression. So the genetic disposition is there. I first started having problems after my parents split up and i started high school , i became very withdraw, anxious and had sleep problems, i then started experimenting with drugs. so i was around early teens, from then on its been the samr with a few extreme times brought on by drug use and extreme stress. I have noticed a definite connection between, feeeling extremly stressed and how i feel my mood and behaviour is affected. I am 25 years old now so i have been struggling like this for a long time with periods of drug free time along the way. This is the most time i have drug free , 8mths coming up 9 months soon! I think i need to get referred to a new pychiatrist , by a doctor.Although we have free NHS medical here , i am currently seeing a private doctor as he has helped me kick heroin, and i feel i know him well.Although he disagrees with thinking i have mental health problems!But he doesn't see what i am like the rest of the time!And also i am not great at fully explaining things. I do definately get very depressed for periods at a time, but i am just battling on with it because eventually it lifts, One of the reasons i hav not been taking meds , is i am breastfeeding and i didn't want to risk any rubbish passing from me to baby regardless of what health guidelines are. Bit paranoid but i don'y think it was worth it. As my son i nearly 7 mths and on solids , i would consider giving meds a try again as long as i got a diagnosis too. I have been on anti depreesents over the years and for the most part they helped, things were more managable generally whilst i was on them. Citalapram is mostly what i was put on.And beta blockers too. for my anxiety and depression. Sometimes that didn't help though. I might add i have a history of self harm and a few suicide attempts , from a few years ago. Eating and my body image is an ongoing battle, at the moment a crutch and to be honest a constant battle,cause i know how stupid it is really. anyway long post...