SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Members with less than 2 weeks -Part 9

thirtybubba · 09-11-2009, 10:51 AM

Did it! Got 2 weeks and 4 hours and 40 minutes.

*evil laugh*

Wow. That was an interesting roller coaster ride. See, that's why I don't like roller coasters. Now if only I could convince myself that I don't like liquor...

Oh well, I got two weeks and I guess I might as well stay this way for a while. Maybe see if I can make it the whole semester.

There's only two problems with this as I see it--aside from my frequent temptation and frustration with my little world--:

1. I have always had, since the 90s, a bad habit of messing up in mid-October. I have no idea why, don't remember anything bad happening then or anything--and my memory of bad things is unfortunately crystal clear when I'm sober. I spent many a year actively trying to kill the brain cell responsible for this. I have since learned this is impossible, but I really did try. Worst of all, in college, mid-October is a time from which I can barely, if at all, recover the semester--since by the time I sober up a little, it's usually late November or mid-December (end of semester).

2. If I say go the semester and at the end of the semester I'm not in a place such as where I am now, ie, feeling really positive about what may or may not come, I may use that as an excuse to automatically go back to the bottle. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of people around 90days or some other aniversary say similar things, that the thrill of sobriety was gone... To say nothing of yesterday's spate of relapses.

Anyways, thanks Carol and Dee for all the help understanding what's going on with me--I feel like I'm going through puberty or something all over.

Ain't planning on leaving, but I guess I gotta graduate from this one.

*puts on little hat with tassle*

Keep going strong, MsWalker, Daisy, AboveItAll, Grrrr--I never thought I'd be here, so anyone's got a good chance at making it.

09-11-2009, 10:51 AM	#102 (permalink)
thirtybubba Owner of a strange glitch. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: midsouth Posts: 2,275	Did it! Got 2 weeks and 4 hours and 40 minutes. evil laugh Wow. That was an interesting roller coaster ride. See, that's why I don't like roller coasters. Now if only I could convince myself that I don't like liquor... Oh well, I got two weeks and I guess I might as well stay this way for a while. Maybe see if I can make it the whole semester. There's only two problems with this as I see it--aside from my frequent temptation and frustration with my little world--: 1. I have always had, since the 90s, a bad habit of messing up in mid-October. I have no idea why, don't remember anything bad happening then or anything--and my memory of bad things is unfortunately crystal clear when I'm sober. I spent many a year actively trying to kill the brain cell responsible for this. I have since learned this is impossible, but I really did try. Worst of all, in college, mid-October is a time from which I can barely, if at all, recover the semester--since by the time I sober up a little, it's usually late November or mid-December (end of semester). 2. If I say go the semester and at the end of the semester I'm not in a place such as where I am now, ie, feeling really positive about what may or may not come, I may use that as an excuse to automatically go back to the bottle. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of people around 90days or some other aniversary say similar things, that the thrill of sobriety was gone... To say nothing of yesterday's spate of relapses. Anyways, thanks Carol and Dee for all the help understanding what's going on with me--I feel like I'm going through puberty or something all over. Ain't planning on leaving, but I guess I gotta graduate from this one. puts on little hat with tassle Keep going strong, MsWalker, Daisy, AboveItAll, Grrrr--I never thought I'd be here, so anyone's got a good chance at making it.