takincareome,
You're making complete sense. And, I love Iwanttoheal's analogy of the flashing beacon and making more room for someone else's stuff.
I believe that when we can't stand someone it is usually a reflection in ourselves for some sort of necessary healing/lesson to be learned on our part. Of course, the one-upper gets on a lot of people nerves, I think. We have one in my work group. I now think it's funny to listen to her as she one-ups EVERY SINGLE THING in EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION. It justs places a giant sign above her head stating, "Insecure one here."
Not sure if this helps, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone, my friend, and you do make sense.