Hey Noro,
I have bipolar II and my current doc doesn't believe it, b/c i haven't had a proper hypomanic episode in over 10yrs. When i did have them however, they were absolutely textbook symptoms.
Here are my symptoms:
Anxiety: very physical - pounding heart, sweat, breathing difficulties. Even thoughts seem more physical - like my head is about to explode from all the thoughts building up & playing off each other. Desire to isolate and hide away until it passes.
Hypomania: Generally i don't sleep much. I get obsessed with things - eg astrology, baseball, Lawrence of Arabia... My thoughts race, but it's not the same feeling as in anxiety, it's more like i am Super-Me, new and improved! Anxiety - feel very unsure of self, Hypomania - feel over-sure, super confident. I don’t want to hide, I want to do lots of ambitious things. Anxiety energy feels crushing, hypomania feels impatient, bombastic, outwardly-directed.
When i studied the matter after being diagnosed, everything "clicked" into place for me. i found the diagnosis relieving because it fit, and it explained a lot as i looked back into my past. If you are not having that experience - that everything is starting to make sense - just bear in mind that mental health professionals can be wrong.
Also, maybe try not to overanalyse how you are feeling. Whether a behaviour is related to a disorder or not, doesn't make it any less
you. You are who you are, and your feelings / thoughts / behaviours are what they are. A label will not change them in any way, unless you actively start trying to "act out" according to what you or someone else thinks you "might" have.
Anyway, I hope you find the answers you are looking for, best of luck in figuring it all out!
ae
