SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Soon to be Ex-Wife or Girlfriend?

Seekingsobriety · 09-07-2009, 05:39 PM

" havent felt this way about a woman in a long time. It is a long distance relationship however. She lives 500 miles away. She is planning on coming out to see me in September."

Have you met this woman face to face at all yet? That is going to tell me alot...............it sounds like you have not?

Not being clear on the details, I agrre with your AA friend and tell your wife you need more time.

My take, having had my wife leave with the kids as well..................(and she was as big of a drunk as me)...........is tell her you need more time. By all means, meet with her and see how things go, see if you have any feelings for her.

If you don't have ANY feelings of love or attraction for her, or there has been too much hurt..................I'd pass. getting back together with her IF THERE IS NO FEELINGS OF LOVE will not do anyone any good. Not her, you, or the kids.
I know for ME (and this DOESN'T MEAN FOR YOU) I've been single now for 3 years. There has been so much pain, hurt and betrayal (she cheated on me) that I could never go back. She left me when I needed her most. Ironically, though, it took me losing her and my kids to finally get to sober and happy.

VERY tough calll man. Take your time. You have nothing to lose, on either front, by TAKING YOUR TIME.

09-07-2009, 05:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Seekingsobriety Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Sask Posts: 117	" havent felt this way about a woman in a long time. It is a long distance relationship however. She lives 500 miles away. She is planning on coming out to see me in September." Have you met this woman face to face at all yet? That is going to tell me alot...............it sounds like you have not? Not being clear on the details, I agrre with your AA friend and tell your wife you need more time. My take, having had my wife leave with the kids as well..................(and she was as big of a drunk as me)...........is tell her you need more time. By all means, meet with her and see how things go, see if you have any feelings for her. If you don't have ANY feelings of love or attraction for her, or there has been too much hurt..................I'd pass. getting back together with her IF THERE IS NO FEELINGS OF LOVE will not do anyone any good. Not her, you, or the kids. I know for ME (and this DOESN'T MEAN FOR YOU) I've been single now for 3 years. There has been so much pain, hurt and betrayal (she cheated on me) that I could never go back. She left me when I needed her most. Ironically, though, it took me losing her and my kids to finally get to sober and happy. VERY tough calll man. Take your time. You have nothing to lose, on either front, by TAKING YOUR TIME. __________________ "You know your goal. You know the path. The only thing that can stop you now is complacency. Go take what's yours."