SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Help with Problem with Calling or Trusting Sponsor

LifeLover · 09-05-2009, 10:52 AM

gcman01,

For what it's worth, I've had sponsor issues and I sympathize with you.

Regarding overcoming a reluctance to call a sponsor, I really liked SelfSeeking's advice to build a habit out of calling alcoholics. What might also help is to focus on trusting the process instead of trusting a person. Let me explain.

I first got a sponsor when I was checking myself out early from a treatment center. My counselor had asked me, on the condition that I was to be leaving early, that I at least have a temporary sponsor before I leave. I agreed.

I wasn't "into" AA at the time, so my getting a sponsor (even a temporary one) was a big deal for me. I gathered the resolve to do what he told me to do "... come hell or high water." I knew others who had succeeded in AA, and I felt the support of my counselors.

I trusted in the idea of "sponsorship."

With my financial situation at the time, it was easier if I lived in another state for a while, so I actually had an "out of state" sponsor with whom I only spoke to over the phone. He was like a drill sargeant. I followed his (strong) suggestions and got into a better place in my life.

I was getting help from a man I never met, which shows that there is a wealth of outreach out there which folks like you and me and others can tap into. I eventually got to know my temporary sponsor (when I was able to move back to my home state).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't fully trust the sponsor you currently have, then keep the option in your mind to go through your step 4 with a complete stranger. When I say that, I mean a stranger to you, personally -- but not a stranger to the process of recovery.

It worked for me.

Ed

09-05-2009, 10:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
LifeLover Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: St. Paul, MN Posts: 6	gcman01, For what it's worth, I've had sponsor issues and I sympathize with you. Regarding overcoming a reluctance to call a sponsor, I really liked SelfSeeking's advice to build a habit out of calling alcoholics. What might also help is to focus on trusting the process instead of trusting a person. Let me explain. I first got a sponsor when I was checking myself out early from a treatment center. My counselor had asked me, on the condition that I was to be leaving early, that I at least have a temporary sponsor before I leave. I agreed. I wasn't "into" AA at the time, so my getting a sponsor (even a temporary one) was a big deal for me. I gathered the resolve to do what he told me to do "... come hell or high water." I knew others who had succeeded in AA, and I felt the support of my counselors. I trusted in the idea of "sponsorship." With my financial situation at the time, it was easier if I lived in another state for a while, so I actually had an "out of state" sponsor with whom I only spoke to over the phone. He was like a drill sargeant. I followed his (strong) suggestions and got into a better place in my life. I was getting help from a man I never met, which shows that there is a wealth of outreach out there which folks like you and me and others can tap into. I eventually got to know my temporary sponsor (when I was able to move back to my home state). I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you don't fully trust the sponsor you currently have, then keep the option in your mind to go through your step 4 with a complete stranger. When I say that, I mean a stranger to you, personally -- but not a stranger to the process of recovery. It worked for me. Ed