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Originally Posted by Excalibur  How did I get here? |
Can't really say, and I'm not sure it matters. At some point, I lost control of my drinking. I crossed some invisible line where I lost the power to choose whether or how much I would drink. When that line was crossed, alcohol became more important than anything else in my life. Like you said, the rest of it just sort of slipped away and getting and staying drunk was all that really mattered to me. I rationalized, justified, and lied to protect my drinking. And it got worse in a hurry for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Excalibur How do I get out of this place |
I tried everything I could think of or that seemed logical. I went to my doctor, started anti-depressants, started counseling, outpatient alcohol treatment, inpatient rehab. I even tried AA without really working the steps. The fellowship and the service helped for a while, but I ended up just as bad off as I was before.
I hit a point of surrender, Excalibur, where I couldn't go on living like that. I knew I was beat. I knew that I didn't have the power to stay sober. It was then that I was willing to take the 12 steps suggested by AA. I took those steps with a sponsor and I recovered. Alcohol ceased to be an issue with me.
Today I stay in that 12 step solution of practicing spiritual principles in my life, not because I'm afraid I'll drink, but because of the sheer, unmitigated joy of living this way.
I've been at this for a while, and I still love this way of life that AA has shown me.