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navysteve · 08-29-2009, 05:45 PM

I have had a few guys coming to me for sponsorship from the local Back to Basic Group. I have about 5 of them telling me the same story " They feel they are being rushed through the steps" That made me think of page 95 in the Big Book:

He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.

Can the desire come from me making step demands? Forced phone calls etc...

Willing to go to any lengths means practicing the steps- that's it!

That page goes on to say:

If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that.

Now I know this page is talking about 12th stepping, but isn't sponsorship on-going 12th step work?

Back to my recent influx of sponsees:

These guys are all telling me the same thing about feeling forced to work the steps and how they feel like they are just going through the motions.

So,
If a guy is hesitant about working steps, do they have a right to stand on the fence? There is alot of talk about how they did things in the good ole days. Clarence made new men talk to ten alcoholics and be hospitalized before they could come to meetings. Should we do that today? I personally don't think so, if a newcomer wants to stand on the sideline we ( as recovered alcoholics) should honor that choice. Our book speaks of this over again:

To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.

Page 44.

The guys I have been working with who are in this situation I feel are stuck on step one, I have told a few of them if they feel that they are not alcoholic they should try some controlled drinking. I try to keep myself available, I don't just cut them off.

What do you do?

08-29-2009, 05:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
navysteve Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,870	Working with newcomers I have had a few guys coming to me for sponsorship from the local Back to Basic Group. I have about 5 of them telling me the same story " They feel they are being rushed through the steps" That made me think of page 95 in the Big Book: He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within. Can the desire come from me making step demands? Forced phone calls etc... Willing to go to any lengths means practicing the steps- that's it! That page goes on to say: If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that. Now I know this page is talking about 12th stepping, but isn't sponsorship on-going 12th step work? Back to my recent influx of sponsees: These guys are all telling me the same thing about feeling forced to work the steps and how they feel like they are just going through the motions. So, If a guy is hesitant about working steps, do they have a right to stand on the fence? There is alot of talk about how they did things in the good ole days. Clarence made new men talk to ten alcoholics and be hospitalized before they could come to meetings. Should we do that today? I personally don't think so, if a newcomer wants to stand on the sideline we ( as recovered alcoholics) should honor that choice. Our book speaks of this over again: To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. Page 44. The guys I have been working with who are in this situation I feel are stuck on step one, I have told a few of them if they feel that they are not alcoholic they should try some controlled drinking. I try to keep myself available, I don't just cut them off. What do you do?