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Well I just got home from work and man was today horrible. It was the worst day yet. I feel like collapsing in my bed. It's weird because on suboxones I was never tired. Now I just feel like sleeping. I've really lost my appetite. I had to force myself to eat today otherwise I probably wouldn't have. I told my cousin that I stopped taking my suboxone. Before I was taking suboxone for about 4 months. I was a heroin addict for about 3 years and I kept relapsing every time I went to detox and rehabs. Nothing was working so I went on suboxone and it was the only thing that kept me from going back to heroin. I have a girlfriend and I think about her and I say to myself, "She doesn't deserve to be with an addict, she deserves someone better". I think about how I let my family down because of my addiction. I think about the job I lost because of the drugs. I feel like I let god down too. I just want to live a normal life. I don't think I can, I've lost hope in that. I feel like I can either live a sober life where I'm depressed all of the time or a drug addicted life where I feel good but everything else is in ruins.
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