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Hey crispringles,
There is no really black and white with sexual orientation so feeling aroused by certain thoughts of doing stuff with men might make you a little less on the straight side but doesn't necessarily make you gay. When you hear about someone repressing their homosexuality it's generally not that they just don't know they have these feelings...it's that they have these feelings and they think that they're terribly wrong so they often feel lots of shame and guilt and push it into the back of their mind and do everything to prove to themselves that they are not gay. This is a tough question because no one except you really knows what's going on inside your head and you have to really evaluate for yourself what your level of interest in men is and if you really are interested you may want to try it out. If you're just worried because you're having trouble performing and have in the past had occasional thoughts of men then I would say no you're not gay. If you really are attracted to men and are asking because you want some sort of validation to say it's ok to go ahead and try, then you may be. You're the only person that can decide what is right for you (although you can seek help and advice in doing so).
Now for the other problem, and I'm assuming that outside the attempts at sex that you can get an erection normally, you probably are suffering from anxiety and not some sort of repressed homosexuality (because hey, if you like girls you like girls...even if you like guys too). As someone who also suffers from severe anxiety I know what it's like and I've had that one bad experience induce a horrible streak of worrying so much that it wouldn't work..so it didn't. When I stopped thinking about it (easier said than done...) it went away. My advice would be to talk to a therapist about this even though it may be embarrassing for you. Actually both problems would be good to talk to a therapist about, but when it comes to exploring your true sexual identity make sure it's someone who has your best interest and health in mind and isn't driven by any biases in pushing you one way or the other.
Marx
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