[freya]

Welcome to SR!

I looked at your profile, and there's no info that indicates why you are on a recovery website....but addiction to alcohol and/or certain other substances can have a very negative impact on one's sexual performance....the longer and more severe the addiction the more severe the effect.....and that's not even getting into the self-esteem issues that often come along with addiction and that also impact one's sexual expression in very negative ways.

So, I think the first question needs to be: are you addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, and if you are but currently not actively, how long have you been clean and sober and what kind of recovery program are you working????

If you are not an addict of any type or have been clean and sober for long enough for it to be safe to assume that most of the attendant physical effects of your addiction should have worn off, these sound like the kind of issues that you might need to work through/address with a Sex Therapist. It is really unwise and unfair to expect that just any woman you happen to meet and hook-up with would be able to effectively help you address this stuff....and, even if she was able and willing, you would be taking a huge risk, relationship wise, to put that kind of burden on her and on your relationship with her.

freya