| So confused
I've always believed myself to be hetero until just recently. I have performance anxiety. I don't know why exactly, but I have always been a complete nervous nellie when it's "go" time, and I can't perform. This has been going on for over 4 years. My first attempt at sex turned into a mental battle with the condom, a disappointed girl, and an angry me. Since then, my mind has become more my enemy than ever. Oral sex has always and still turns me on. However, I'm losing my interest in oral sex, as I have come to expect failure of penetration, accompanied with an embarassing excuse. This has made me very, very unconfident, and women can see right through it. I have had a hard time landing a gf to try to overcome this problem. And I can't seem to solve this problem with random sex.
I have had one steady sexual relationship with a female over 2 years ago, and I could perform about half the time, but I was still usually nervous/uncomfortable most of the time even when I could get off. Also, condoms were a major obstacle for me, so we always used birth control. Naturally, I have begun to think I could be repressing homosexual thoughts, although before this ever happened, my sex drive towards women was ragin! I don't fantasize about men throughout the day, but I do get a little turned on by some things about men. The thought of oral sex does kinda turn me on, but any other kind of gay activity is a complete turn-off for me. Anyone have any advice, or see any similarities in where you were or are now? Thanks.
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