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Hey Cris,
I can't give you medical advise, or even tell you what to do. You are correct about it not being a true recovery while under the influence of suboxone, unless it's part of a plan to achieve complete freedom from mind altering substances, which seems to be the case for you at this time. I found that while on it I cannot experience the cleanness of spirit that one finds in recovery. It puts a wall between you and the Spirit of the Higher Power we must depend on in order to survive and live a happy sober life. But be patient my friend. Keep working with your doctor, being as honest as you can with him, yourself, and others. Sometimes if feels hopeless, but there IS hope. Keep up the good fight my brother in arms. I need you as much as you need us, so keep us posted. Together we lift each other up.
Gerry
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